It is always amazing when you find that special person in your life and of course you want to tell everyone about it. I have been telling my friends about my new relationship that I have with my boyfriend and the reaction I have been getting more than anything is that of disappointment.
A lot of people that I have met with the intentions of creating a circle of friends here in Georgia have revealed that in reality they were trying to date me and not be just my friend. So that made me wonder how do yo know when gay guys are really there to be your friends or are they just trying to out as a potential lover? I will admit that I am guilty of the "could he be a future boyfriend" game . But it is always good to start out as friends anyway so you two can get to know each other.
I understand sometimes it is hard to speak the truth about how you feel about someone but not saying anything could set you up for a jealousy and a little bit of heart break. Because I am going through this situation I decided to do an article on jealousy and how to get over your jealousy.
What is jealousy!?
Jealousy is when you react negatively towards the possibility of losing hat you have with someone. Different from being envious, it involves generally three people instead of just two [you, the person you want and the person who threatens to take it away]. Of course at the heart of jealousy are fears and expectations that are hard to get rid of.
Steps In Order To Avoid Jealousy!
When you feel your jealousy start to rear its nasty head don't react destructively. Do not make accusations and do not give the other person the silent treatment [relationship wise]. Please do what a trusting person would do even if it makes you feel awkward and almost crazy. Because jealousy can destroy any relationship. Communication is the key so when you have cooled down, talk to the person and let them know what made you feel jealous.
2. Observe What Triggers Your Jealousy
- Romance: fear of the partner is going to cheat on you with someone who is better than you are in some form or fashion
- Friends: Someone spending time with other friends with the fear that they will prefer the other person and not want to spend time with you
- Society: Someone else getting something you want; insecurity over unmet expectations
Often times jealousy is a product of low self esteem and insecurity. Which is also a deep rooted fear of being abandoned and withdrawal of someones attention towards you because you aren't deemed "good enough." Often times we are insecure because we are always afraid of what others will think of us......STOP IT. Those fools don't matter.
4. No Need To Compare Yourself To Others
We all have problems so when you look at others who seem to have it all, they may have the material things but in reality don't. The life they lead may seem comfortable but it isn't 100% fulfilling.
5. Being Trustworthy
Often times when people get jealous easily they have had their trust broken in the past. One thing you should always keep in consideration is "has this person ever done anything to break our trust in the past" if they haven't.....give them credit for it! If they have indeed broken your trust in the past then it is time to forgive them...that was the past.
Jealousy is based on fear. You are prejudging things and worried about something bad that hasn't even happened yet and ultimately may not even happen at all. Instead focus on the positive things be thankful for what you have. If someone is going to hurt you there is nothing you can do to stop it.