The idea of dating someone who has HIV is an ideal one where more are living with it than we actually like to think; especially here in Atlanta, GA. Dating someone who is POZ when you are negative is indeed a scary thing and you have to take as many precautions as possible without alienating the person.
If you think that it is a risk you would rather not partake in save yourself and the person from the trouble by letting them know ahead of time instead of being alright with it initially and then changing your mind because that could be absolutely devastating. No one likes to be rejected no matter what their status is but to be rejected because of a condition they have can be absolutely devastating. There are so many things that you should keep in mind while dating a POZ person and here are some tips for you.
The most important thing to know when dating someone who is HIV positive is to know your HIV status. It is suggested you get tested every six months so you remain as healthy as possible. Of course that goes hand and hand with using protection. Some of the more common ways to have the virus transmitted to you is from open sores, blood transmission, penile and vaginal secretions. You should stay protected when it comes to anal,vaginal and oral sex with latex condoms EVERY TIME.
Learn as much as possible about the HIV virus. There are an abundance of sources for you to get info like the Internet, library, health centers and even a person who is POZ.
But on top of that you must also take the time to learn about the person you are dating. That just goes hand and hand with relationships in general. The virus is just one small aspect of the person. Despite their condition they still have likes, dislikes, challenges they have in life, goals they have and what they are looking for in a relationship.
The most important thing you can do with a partner that is POZ is to offer emotional support. Be open to what they have to say. Because there are going to be days where the fact that they are living with HIV is going to overpower their emotions and they may blow up. Try to go with them to doctor visits as much as possible. The one thing that people with HIV need more than anything is the feeling that they are loved.
If he is just hitting it right and you need to express it. What better way to express your feeling other than moaning? It is the ultimate way of communication during sex.
But then you have those who are just silent.....LAME!!! Moaning is such a turn on its hot! It is a definite turn on
It is the best way of expressing excitement and pleasure and conveying it to your partner. Its an easy way to let your man know you are in a total sense of relaxation and are just surrendering all means of control and allowing your body to be in total bliss due to the satisfying sexual experience.
When you are moaning and letting it all out it makes the entire sexual act more personal/active even and can let him know he is doing something to your body preferably a good thing to your body. No one wants to be fucking a dead ass motionless corpse.
You do not need to sound like this sound clip above but it would be hot!
BUT HOLD THE BEAT BACK!
There are those off chances where we moan because we are actually in pain. You are just trying to breathe when you bare your mans huge tool. It could very well be out of helplessness and pain.
If that is the case and you want him to get it over with you can also just pump up the fake meter and moan like crazy because it will turn him on and excite him to the point to where he will be ready to skeet skeet.
If you are the typical moaner why not experiment and turn it up and moan more or even not at all and see what that does to your overall sexual experience.
I asked a few people about their opinions about moaning during sex and this is the responses I have gotten.
Person 1: Hell yeah I love to make my bottom moan its a turn on.
Person 2: yes I like it when they moan, It turns me on
Person 3: Don't hold it in, let it out. Moans are one way of telling me that you like what I'm doing to you.
Person 4: I love to hear moans. But you know what, its not about the moaning. I want to know your into it. You know they say actions speaks louder than words, or moans rather.
So I just need to see that you like what I'm doing.
It will in turn get me more into it.
Person 5: It's a major turn on. It makes you feel like your in control to hit da ass right. It makes me pound that ass even harder
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We may not admit it but we are all size queens at some point on our lives. But often tims it is actually just a front that weant a man with a giant penis when we all know that we cannot handle someone putting a baby leg in us.
The old saying goes......its not the size of the boat just the motion in the ocean but sometimes the size size of that boat can create a hurricane and that is HOT. This is a little easy to say when you aren't the one with the dangling unit between your legs and feeling weird because you do not measure up.
Especially in the gay community, there is this stigma where a lot of people will be embarrassed if they are the top and their bottom has a larger penis than they do. They do not mention it off the bat but the next day the will talk to their friends about it and tell them that its a shame this bottom with a large penis is not using it and letting it go to waste.
Here is a chart courtesy of the BMJ about the average penis size based on ethnicity. This chart does show that african american men do tend to have larger penis' but its not to the point to where they are all hanging out at 10, 11, 12" dicks.
Several prostitutes admitted that black penises are generally longer and thicker and Asian penises shorter and thinner.Whites fall in between although the real big penises are as common among whites as among blacks. They also mentioned that it is not in their advantage to insult Asian men since they are their best customers. Whores, who often do up to 15 men per day, prefer them exactly for their smaller size because a small penis doesn't wear them out so much.
Not only is length a problem that men are often embarrassed about there's also other factors like cut vs. uncut and whether or not their penis sticks straight out or curves in a certain direction. But we have to remember like everything else on our bodies we are all different.
Are you not happy with your penis size there are multiple solutions for you some are temporary and some are more on the permanent side.
Pills and patches however are not the best option because it is just scam....and will make your penis hurt too!
Surgery is also an option to increase your penis size. One procedure includes slicing the ligament that supports the penis which makes it dangle more so it looks longer when it is flaccid. But when you are erect it will be the same. You can also opt to have fat injected into your penis to increase girth. Now that's where its at. I personally like a bigger penis over a longer one. You just hold it in your hand and eyes open WIDE!
Another DIY option are stretchers. These objects will pull on your dick and balls to their maximum length and overtime will stay that way.
Wait....what if you have a large unit and wished it was smaller.....then shut up! You were blessed by the gods. You appreciate it and do some damage!!!
But let us all remember that at the end of the day...dick is dick
I am continuing my sex health/tips portion of this blog and today I am going to talk about sex toys. One of the most common types of sex toys are DILDOS! They are good for those lonely nights alone when you don't have a man around to lay down the pipe or you don't even want a man to. I am going to talk about what a dildo is, the different types of dildos and the pros and con's of each one.
Whats a dildo?!?!
A dildo is an object that is always insertable in ones body and is often a cylinder shape with a rounded top for smooth insertion. Many times a dildo is shaped like human penis with a variety of different details from fake hair to the presence a scrotum to veins to even little slot openings at the top to represent the opening of an actual penis.
What are different dildos made of!?!?
Silicone Rubber: Dildos made of silicone became
very popular in the 1990's because they are easier to clean and are highly recommended for first time users. You don't have to worry about bacteria because you can boil it to clean it. A big plus is they do not have the smell of plastic like earlier versions of of dildos had. A silicone dildo can often have a vibrator placed in it and will conduct your body heat excellently! Silicone is always fun because they come in such a variety of colors!
Stainless Steel: Stainless steel usually are bit more on the expensive side of the dildo market but like its silicone counterpart it is non porous so you don't have to worry about bacteria sticking on to it after you clean it off. Stainless steel is going to obviously be very heavy and cold as well.
Pyrex/Glass: Another hard material that will conduct heat very well. They often have crazy looks to them. They can also be personalized with inscriptions which is way cute! These glass toys will apply a bit more pressure to a woman's G-Spot or a mans prostate gland. They aren't going to be as heavy as stainless steel. But be careful with this because it is glass and one extremely hard toss and boom it brakes. Please don't stick broken dildos in you and get all cut up lol.
Cyberskin: This material isn't as easy to keep clean so there is a higher chance of bacteria growing on it. On the plus side these are meant to mimic the real thing! So when using cyberskin its suggested you put a condom on it.
Jelly Rubber: These types of dildos are not recommended because they contain unsafe material. There are chemical softeners to make the dildo soft which is also found in jewelry, food containers and soft rubber toys. These dildos cannot be boiled/sterilized so it is definitely hard to keep clean.
Aspects of A Dildo
Of course dildos come in all different shapes and sizes. Some dildos look like a bunch of balls stacked on top of each other which is meant to give you a bit of sensation every time you insert it deeper into you, others are just one long smooth shape that just provides steady stimulation and others start off small and get larger towards the base. It all comes down to personal preference. If you are bold enough there are double dildos that you and your partner can use on each other together at the same time. That's for the more experienced. Its where my favorite phrase "bumpin pussies" comes from lol
If you are afraid of buying a dildo in person you can purchase them online and have it shipped to your home discreetly. HAPPY INSERTION!
Of course many of you gay men have been on dates but maybe there's a reason they aren't working out and you're still single. So here's some rules to keep in mind when dating in the gay community. Its a jungle out there and someone has on that leopard thong, TRUST AND BELIEVE!
#1 Start As Friends
You need a foundation somewhere. A friendship is an excellent foundation. Its a way to start on a level that makes sure you two are both comfortable and don't have any ties to each other just yet.
#2 Know Your Expectations
It is always good to know what you are looking for. Even before you start dating. That is a big reason why we date in the first place, to figure out what we want. Before you get too far into the relationship you two need to establish what is is you are looking for from this. Is it just friends with benefits? is it something casual? or is it something serious? what does it mean to you?
#3 Just Say No To Drugs
One big thing that kills a relationship is drug abuse. If you are dating a heavy user....end it!
#4 Beware of Control Freaks And Clingy People
Needy people can drain the life out of you and the relationship. If you are the clingy one...get help! You will never have a healthy successful relationship that way.
#5 Avoid Straight Guys
If you are falling for a straight guy, its not going to work out you may even get hurt in the whole ordeal. Sure you hear that whole thing about "turning someone out" but come on there are so many gay men in this world.
#6 Have Something In Common Other Than Being Gay
You have to be able to enjoy spending time together and have something to talk about. Yes opposites attract but you need something in common if you want your relationship to last.
#7 Observe Phases Of A Healthy Relationship
Don't rush into a relationship. Your relationship should evolve through a series of phases. What are the phases you ask!?
#8 Find Out About Past Relationships
In the learning phase of your relationship you should find out about the other persons past lovers. Make sure that their exes have indeed gotten the AXE! If you are the rebound guy, then don't expect a whole lot. If they are still in love with their ex then you should expect to get hurt eventually.
Sex isn't everything in the relationship but it is definitely a part of it. A healthy relationship can exist without sex. But your relationship cannot exist without intimacy. So make sure you are absolutely ready for the sex.
#10 Monitor Your Relationship
On a regular basis you need to evaluate things and determine what is best for you! Are you happy? Is your partner happy? Is every ones needs being met? Do you both still have the same expectations? If things are starting to go wrong you need to sit down with him and talk it out, pin point the problem. COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
The Bama will be tackling HIV/AIDS with community discussion. He will be starting August 25, 2009 in Atlanta. Do you think its because the White House realizes how high the HIV/AIDS infection rates are here in Atlanta, GA
This will allow the community to give their two cents to help Obama put together his National HIV/AIDS Strategy-which has three objectives.
1) Reduce HIV incidence
2) Increase access to care and optimize health outcomes
3) Reduce HIV-related health disparities
The Bama will be hitting these major cities with this community discussion
* Washington, DC
* New York, NY
* San Francisco, CA
* Oakland, CA
* Los Angeles, CA
* Houston, TX
* Albuquerque, NM
* Jackson, MS
* Fort Lauderdale, FL
* Minneapolis, MN
* Columbia, SC
* Puerto Rico
* The Virgin Islands
"I know how to (fuck) I know how to (ride) I can spin around and keep the dick still inside"
How many of us thought "what a nasty bitch" when we heard those lyrics? But in all reality its something we all do or have it done to when it comes to sex. But you have to wonder [if you are a the bottom] "Hmm am I doing it right? Is this guy getting pleasure from me being in control for the moment?"
Why is it he wants you to be on top? Maybe its because he wants to see that ass bounce back and forth. Or maybe he wants a bossy bottom. It allows you to control the pace of intercourse, motion, how far his dick is going inside of you and allows you to determine just the amount of dick you need to get off.
There are a variety of positions you can somehow put yourself into like the Bee, or the Cowboy [originally named cowgirl but I'm putting a gay spin on it], the Balance, The See Saw, Reverse Mastery or even The Monkey. Which you can see them all in How Do You.....Part 2
A lot of the time these sex articles come from my opinion and outlook on things but this time around I felt like I needed to get different opinions. So I asked five people [two tops, a versatile top, fully versatile and a bottom] a few questions as to how they like to ride or have someone ride them. Here are 5 different opinions from 4 different positions.
1)What sexual role do you consider yourself to be?
Top 2: Top
Vers top: Versatile top
Fully vers: Fully versatile
2) Do you like your bottom to ride?
Top: i do enjoy when my bottom booty takes that dick and sits right on it
Top 2: depends on alot, if I'm drunk, if I'm on, if they new to riding, if they tell me lay back
Vers top: yes
Fully vers: yes, nice when i wake up to it
Bottom: i love to ride a good dick
3) If you had to choose, would you like him to ride it fast or take his time and grind it slow?
Top: most definitely slow and grind...nothing works better than to involve times velocity.
Top 2: slow grind make it get wet and juicy
Vers top: fast
Fully vers: a mixture of both would be the best general answer cuz sometimes i want it fast, sometimes i want to feel every bit of it slowly
4) Do you like him to face you when hes riding? Or have his back towards you so you can see the action?
Top: both but face me towards the last part....before moving towards other positions to ride it
Top 2: both
Vers top: Facing me
Fully vers: Back towards me unless I am feeling oral then i w ant to be able to give him head while he rides or jack him off
5) Do you instruct him on what to do or just lay/sit there?
Top: i have to see if he knows what he is doing usually it is best to let them take that sec of control. if the movement isn't right then i have to lift his booty and help him move it just right
Top 2: depends if I'm drunk, if I'm on, if they new to riding, if they tell me lay back it depends
Vers top: depends. if i feel u aren't doing a good job then i will take control
Fully vers: i guide them if i want them to go faster..but if they can take control and ride it its much better
Bottom: i want him to take control
6) Are you doing anything like kissing your bottom? Jacking him off etc, or are you just cooling it with your hands behind your head?
Top: I definitely participate. most bottom cum so fast every time i do that. I jack them and bang. I think its a combination of passion and good hot nasty royal sex
Top 2: All the above, depends on the person
Vers top: I do things I'm gay.
Fully vers: oral sex. i like it best if like i am sitting up or something
Bottom:all of thee above, now when you gone fuck me
Just because you are on top that doesn't mean he cant help you out. Hell he is still getting total pleasure and whether or not you are getting pleasure or pain ask his ass to do something for you. Ask him to play with your nipps, jack you off, kiss you....something! But some things to remember when it comes to riding dick....take your time at first, don't just hop on like your hole is a vacuum and just sucking up dick!! Make sure you are flexible enough because you cannot have bad knees and injuring yourself just so you can be a bossy bottom bitch.
For an entire list of different positions that you can partake in while you ride your partner's dick you can read "How Do You Ride Your Man's Penis? Part 2"
How To Ride Your Man's Penis Part 1 here
So you have your shit together, you have your own home, own car, self confidence and swagger yet you still come home alone every time. You have to break out the bottle of lotion because no one is there to please you sexually because your status on Facebook says "Single"?
You see that person walking with their boyfriend down the street and wonder "how did they get a man and I don't have one? I'm way cuter than he is!" There are often mistakes that we singles make that we do not notice that we do on a regular basis.
Here are some reasons as to why you may still be single and if they apply to you, you may need to re-evaluate.
You Value Your Being Independent Over Being Tied Down [raising my hand on this one]
When you were younger, being single and independent was perfect for you because you could do anything you wanted without having to worry about what others had to think or say about you.
But as much as it hurts me to say-being in a relationship involves plenty of commitment, sacrifice and compromise. Being independent means you have grown accustom to the habit of doing things on your own terms but sometimes things have to change.
Your daily routines are not something you have to abide by 100%. We sometimes have to be a bit more lenient to allow others in. You can invite that special someone into your life and still have your freedom.
You're Always Too Busy
Your job is your first love. You thought you could find a man after rising to the top of the ladder, but realize there is no end to it. You feel like you will forever climb that corporate ladder.
Spending most of your time focusing on getting ahead, you have realized you have lost your social life completely and forgot how to put your best foot forward when you are looking for the right man.
You Have Not Maintained Your Appearance On A Regular
Look at yourself!!! What have you become!? Where did those extra 10 pounds come from!? Your hair is a mess!! Appearance isn't everything but it is when it comes to first impression. If you aren't keeping it cute with yourself...Others will pick up on it and wonder "Does he look like that everyday!? DAMN"
You never know who you are going to run into so you should look your best everyday. Or if not your best....pretty damn close to it.
You Don't Try Hard Enough To Make Things Work
Anal ain't free and neither are the good things in life. If you are just waiting for the right person to come around while you sit on your ass eating Sarah Lee Cheesecake Bites lol your chances of him falling into your arms are slim to none. The more you put your face out there, the more visible you are the higher the chances of getting a man.
When you put in the time and effort to expand your social life, you’ll find yourself making more friends, and potential dates will come naturally along the way.
See the rest of the article after the jump
You Are Too Afraid To Put Yourself Out There And Meet Other People
The idea of opening up yourself to others and letting people into your life is scary thing for you? Well say hello to a life of solitude. Fears we have like failure, rejection commitment, trust issues; lead to one feeling self-conscious and having a lack the confidence to approach people. Taking the initiative and making conversation is the first step into breaking that cycle.
You Have High Standards That Are Impossible To Meet
I tell a friend everyday "Boy you better lower them standards!" of course its usually about sex but it makes sense when it comes to all aspects of social life. Come on having that checklist of 6ft, dark, masculine, extremely muscular, no kids, lives within 5 minute radius chances are you are ruling out a lot of good men who do not meet any of your standards.
Not everyone is perfect so expand those options. But do not lower them to the point where you are welcoming absolutely everyone in the neighborhood.
Past Relationships Leave You Alienated [raising my hand on this one]
We have all had failed relationships and break ups that leave us crushed and angry singing Kelis' "Caught Out There" or any song by Keyshia Cole. You cannot let your past experiences shut you down from new things that others will bring to the table.
So take a little break in between relationships; which means NO REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS. Now that you have healed you can leave all your excess baggage at the door and be open to a new person
You Treasure Your Possessions More Than Anything Else
We all have material things that we love and can bring us pleasure for the moment. But those material things won't hold you at night unless its a Snuggie! We all need that human companionship from time to time.
You should put these items to the side for you to be able to find love...to be loved....to love.