Eliminating Nice Guy Disorder

Friday, October 2 | posted in | 2 comments

"_____ Is starting to believe good guys finish last" via Facebook status

How often have we heard that phrase??? Probably very often because it is true...as unfortunate as it is. When it comes to being a nice guy it has a totally different meaning when it comes to dating than it does in the real world. Often times "NICE GUY" is that cover up when you aren't feeling someone. Nice guy however is such a broad term and could mean so many different things.

"You are such a nice guy but it is not going to work out between us"

Well if they're a nice guy why the hell not? Who doesn't want a man who treats them with respect?

Is it actually because they want someone with backbone? Is it because you have showed your vulnerability? Were you just too passive when making the first move? Did you agree with absolutely everything they were saying? Were you just too careful with what you were saying that it turned out you weren't saying anything interesting at all? That is known as NICE GUY DISORDER.....and there is a way to cure it.

When someone gives you the "You're a nice guy...but" All that means is you have come off too easy, too approachable. You have come off as too much of a weakling possibly too desperate or simply just not exciting at all.

But since being a "NICE" guy can be so broad you have to determine what is it about you that people aren't liking and why they have decided to let you go.

Time to reassess your dating style...Give yourself a little edge. All of these problems tend to be personality issues and who doesn't love a personality that is capable of asserting themselves instead of being so passive and nice add a little substance to that!

But Noble....how do I add that edge!?!?
Side note: A man approached me last Sunday in a parking lot and he certainly did not have nice guy disorder and his personality was making me melt like no other. Here are some things I gathered about his personality that is getting him the bois.

You can start by creating a list of all your attributes you want to cultivate and be sure that nice isn't a compliment of yours. That is simply because nice people are bland. Everyone wants to date someone whose confident, passionate, generous, observant, strong and even charismatic.

Are too many of your potential dates becoming friends? Well let them go!!! You need to have a lot more romantic interests! You need to have a list of men in your phone who are just for dating and you can call up to go on a date. So when you meet a new person don't try to be their friend at first keep them in the dating zone.

What about that whole agreeing with what everyone says thing? Cut it! Have an opposing opinion....stand your ground. If you are upset....show that shit! If you think someone is acting silly....call them out! A man who can call someone out on their bullshit is what people really want....not a flimsy ass person who kisses the ground they walk on.

Your NICE GUYness also does nothing for anyone sexually. It fuels no sexual interest or even mild tension. A nice guy is going to be too passive in the bedroom. Try being a bit more hands on and touchy/feely.

An easy way to do that is just give hugs...Light touching during conversations [i.e. touching their shoulder....small of the back...grabbing their arm or hand when telling a story]. Flirting on a daily basis is also going to help you get comfortable with you being a sexual beast because if you are confident enough to flirt with someone you are confident enough lay down that pipe at the end of the night!

2 Responses So far
on October 2, 2009 at 10:52 AM  

You wrote to answer my cry for help..lol. I have the charisma (you know me) and the confidence. I'm lacking edge. I over think and I'm too polite. Those two traits typically water my charisma and confidence until I'm comfortable. If I can get you out from nowhere, ga. We will have an in person consultation..lol.

on October 2, 2009 at 11:25 AM  

Wow! I love this article. It speaks to me. I have been too nice, but that's all going to change. I am an Aries, and I am a confident bitch. Watch out!

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